My people....my people.

Friends, I have been watching several youtube videos for the past few days, many of which have been centered around problems that are plaguing the black community. From sermons by the good minister Malcolm X, to random channels of brothers and sisters expressing their frustrations at our current condition, it is clear that we are in a sad, sad state of affairs. I was not going to write this post because I know for a fact that what I'm saying is nothing that we have not all heard before. You cannot be black in America and be unaware of the high HIV rate among our people, the disproportionate number of black children living without fathers, or the objectification of black women in the media. I could go on and on about all the things that ail our community, but I will refrain.

What the problem is, I feel, is that many of us have just stopped caring. Many people will probably read this blog, say "whateva nigga," and go right about their day as normal. Now I'm no authority figure, nor am I a black leader; I'm simply an African-American who is keenly aware of what is going on in his community and that these things are not right. We're better than this.....so much better. We're better than 72 percent of our children living without fathers. We're better than making up 60 percent of the current prison population. We're better than living only to "TURN UP" every weekend with no long-term goals of any kind....or are we?

Are we??

Why does the black family unit in America have to be a joke? Why? As the only child of a single mother, I feel as though I turned out pretty well; however, I always wonder what growing up would have been like had my father been around. I'd certainly know a lot more about sports, talking to women, shaving, and automobiles than I know now. Don't get me wrong, I realized early on that I would have to teach myself a lot of things if I was to become a man. I was fortunate enough to have a few good male role models in my life; who knows where I would be right now had I not. I'm just saying, I don't think there is any presence in the world that can replace that of one's biological father.

I firmly believe that the decline of the black family is the single worst thing to happen to our community; worse than HIV/AIDS, worse than the crack epidemic, worse than anything. Think about it, when you are a child, your mind is very malleable. You are constantly observing and picking things up from your environment. If a child is raised in a loving home with two parents who are in a COMMITTED MARRIAGE, it should come as no surprise that that child is statistically less likely to go to prison, drop out of school, or have children out of wedlock. However...because so many black children are raised in single parent homes, sons grow up with few, if any, positive male role models and daughters grow up never expecting to find a husband because mommy didn't have one. Up until the 1950s, the black marriage rate in America was around 64 percent, which accounts for well over half of the population. Today that number has plummeted to around 30 percent. I attribute this to several things: shacking up, images and messages perpetuated by the media, and just pure laziness.

I am a Christian. And I believe that God knew what he was doing when he designed marriage. Nowhere in the bible does it say that marriage is supposed to be easy, but is anything worth having ever easy to obtain? That being said, many of us today are simply unwilling to put in the work it takes to build and maintain a loving relationship, instead opting to hop from one partner to the next whenever we get bored. Smh.

Black men, stop calling our sisters bitches and hos. It's not cool, it doesn't sound cool, and every time you refer to a black woman as such, you insult not only her honor, but the honor of the black woman who raised you. As black men, we are supposed to lead, not berate. We are supposed to exercise sound judgement and restraint. That's what kings do. A lot of my friends tell me "well Nick, I only call a female that when she's acting like one, you know?" I swear, we just love coming up with excuses to be disrespectful. I want you to do something; picture your mother, your grandmother, a niece, or young female family member. Now picture a man calling them a bitch. You cannot feel any type of way about that, but think it's ok to refer to another man's daughter, niece, mother, or grandmother as such. Watch this youtube video of Malcolm X and pay close attention to what he says about black women at the end (around 2:18).

Yall, white people are laughing at us. Seriously. 

...but can you blame them, really? With shows like Love & Hip Hop and Worldstarhiphop.com, why shouldn't they laugh? We do it to ourselves. Growing up, I was accused of "acting white" more times than I care to recall. I've been called an Oreo by black people and white people, and I didn't understand why until I got older. It's because the Black brand in America is built on athletics, entertainment, and ignorance. Hands down, we are the best athletes and entertainers in this country, but we also have a particular talent for making the most ignorant and profitable content America has to offer. Growing up, I wasn't an athlete, I didn't rap or sing, and I was too reserved to be ignorant; hence, I was "white."

I'm really just ranting and raving here, but I think yall get the point. Malcolm is gone, yall; so is Martin, Huey, and the rest of those figures who led the civil rights movement. The black community is slowly, but surely, getting worse with each passing generation. I truly fear for my people if things continue the way that they are now. Sisters, get some self-respect. Stop sleeping with every guy who sends you a flattering DM on Twitter. Stop dissing the nice guys for men who don't care about you or what you think. Look for a husband who will treat you like the queen you are. Brothers, be men. LEAD. Stop disrespecting our women because honestly, they have been holding things down a lot better than we have. And for God's sake, how about the next time you meet an attractive girl, you...I don't know...listen to what she has to say instead of trying to picture her naked? I understand that as men, we have urges; but I also understand that one thing that separates us from animals is the ability to CONTROL our urges. Go out and find a wife. Have kids with her. Be a good example for them, and the cycle will continue. I am sick of my people being a laughingstock in this country; the time has come for us to stop making excuses and handle our business....please.